After a few months in the UAE, my colleague and friend had to return to Croatia.
It happened during the peak of the global lockdown, which made it even harder. Suddenly, the apartment was quiet. Too quiet. We had gotten used to living and working together. I think he was actually happy to head back home, and I get it, but still, it hit me.
His trip back was an adventure in itself. He traveled for more than 40 hours, crossing multiple countries, dealing with airport chaos and unclear regulations. I remember laughing when he finally messaged that he made it. But after the call ended, I turned to the window, and I just stood there for a long time.
That night, I had a thought I couldn’t shake: "Do I really need this in my life?"
It was the first time I truly started questioning the entire decision. What was I doing here? What was I chasing? I couldn’t focus. Couldn’t progress. My motivation flatlined. And that’s when I started understanding how psychology creeps in when no one’s watching.
I believe I was on the edge of depression, but like many people, I didn’t say it out loud. My only company on most days were some Netflix characters. Everything was closed. Everything was digital. No human contact. No handshakes. No accidental laughs in coffee shops. Nothing. And that kind of isolation burns something inside you. I still feel it today.
But this is part of the story, too. And I promised to tell the real one.
